My Lenten Journey Reflection

When I began my Lenten journey of kindness a little over 40 days ago, my husband said to me, “I wonder if a few weeks in, it will become almost like a hassle…trying to find different kind things to do every day and then blog about them,”.  While his intent was not to belittle my project or be mean in any way, I scoffed at his comment and told him that, yes, it was going to be a challenge and I had accepted that.  As you can see from the fact that I haven’t blogged since kind act #17, it turns out that he, in some ways, did turn out to be right, as I did not reach my initial goal of 40 random acts of kindness in 40 days.  However, I do not see this Lenten season as a complete failure.  Today at Easter Mass, Father Mike said in his homily that,”..the Lenten season should be seen as a springboard, as we are not yet done becoming better versions of ourselves.”  I felt like this was God himself talking to me, letting me know that while I may not have fully completed my journey, it is because this journey is one that shouldn’t ever really be complete.  While I didn’t complete 40 different random acts of kindness in 40 days, I did find myself doing a lot of the kind things I did blog about a lot more often (always cleaning up bathrooms, always putting away carts, letting people who are rushing ahead of me in line, etc.), and I also noticed kind acts happening around me and to me.  A post on someone’s Facebook page a few weeks ago stated, “Kindness is not an act.  It is a lifestyle.”  How true is that?  We should always strive to be kind all the time rather than just at random times and in random single acts. 

So, while I maybe didn’t reach my initial goal, I am instead editing my goal; I will strive to continue to work toward finding ways to be kind whenever possible…and it is always possible to find a way, some way, to be kind to someone around you.  I have jumped off the Lenten springboard into a lifelong journey of trying to become a better version of myself. 

Kind act #17: Thank you, Mom

I have the most amazing, helpful mother in the world.  I could write an entire blog about just that, and for that, I am truly and eternally grateful and blessed.  I know I am lucky and I strive to be as good a mother as she has been to us.  When we were in Colorado a few weeks ago, she took her awesomeness to a whole new level, as she spent 4 days and nights in our torn-apart house with two toddlers who were cranky, tired, and filled with cabin fever.  Our remodel was in the stage of complete mess—drywall installation meant dust on every surface and in every nook and cranny of the house, she had no access to a stove, sink, kitchen table, or even the pantry with all of our food for most of two days.  The girls were tired of being in the house for the past three endless months of winter, and throwing off their routine with noisy installers pounding on the walls didn’t help matters much.  But whenever I called to check in, she made it seem like things were going as well as could be expected, they were making due, and everything was, well, just fine.  She could have complained about the noise, the mess, the lack of access to food, water and space, and the overall cranky nature of the girls, but she didn’t.  She even stayed for the day on Monday after we got back so that I could get things situated and so that we could go to another remodel appointment late in the afternoon.  We thanked her endlessly when we returned and several times on Monday, but words will never be able to describe how truly thankful we are that we were able to leave the girls and our house in good hands as we spent a weekend relaxing and recharging 1000 miles away.  The girls insisted on thanking her with a gift card to Barnes and Noble so that she will hopefully splurge and get something nice for herself (not them) for a change, and this time, I didn’t mind spending the money on a kind act…as no monetary amount can truly represent how lucky and thankful we are.  Thanks, Mom.

Cost: $25

Kind act #16: The power of Prayers

Every night as I tuck my daughter into bed, we say the familiar nightly prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep…” and every now and then we add in a special prayer if someone in our family is sick or needs a few extra positive thoughts sent their way.  Last week, I asked her who she wanted to pray for, and she listed a few names in our family, so we prayed for them.  The next night, when I asked her who she wanted to pray for, she said, “All the kids who are sick,” so we said a prayer for all of the sick kids out there, near and far.  I continue to ask her the same question each night, and while there are some people that make our prayer list quite often, it has been fun coming up with people that she’d like to say a special prayer for each night.  It’s likely at this young age that she doesn’t quite fully grasp the meaning behind praying, but I don’t think it’s ever too early to teach a child how important it is to wish good things for people, whether we know them or not.  Never underestimate the power of prayer. 🙂

 Cost: $0

Kind act #15: Be willing to hug

I grew up in a family of huggers, and thus, I have always been someone who gives and enjoys receiving hugs.  However, knowing that some people actually don’t feel comfortable hugging (my husband being one of them, although he has come around to appreciate the fact that I like and need hugs quite often), I have scaled back my inclination to hug people I’m not as close to over the years.  However, when we were in Colorado a few weeks ago, Al & I randomly ran into a former coworker that I haven’t seen in probably almost five years (and likely never hugged her while we worked together), but her first gesture when she saw us was to reach out for a hug.  And it didn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward, it was just a nice, “It’s great to see you after all this while, welcome back to Colorado!” kind of hug.   Then, just last week, the girls and I had a playdate with a friend and her son that we hadn’t seen in quite a few months.  Again, I don’t know that I had ever really hugged her before, but when she saw us approach, she offered a hug!  Hugging can mean lots of different things on lots of different types of occasions; but sometimes, a hug is just a kind act that puts a smile on your face.

Cost: $0

Kind act #14: Feed the workers!

We are right smack dab in the middle of a remodel that, on most days, feels like a bad episode of HGTV.  Needless to say, there have been many different workers in and out of our house for the past few months, tearing things down and putting things back together again.  Last week after the girls and I got some groceries, I couldn’t help but pass up grabbing some of the Lofthouse sugar cookies—you know, the super, super soft cookies with the awesomely sweet frosting?  Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.  Well, the girls and I were enjoying some of said cookies when we got home, and that day happened to be a day where the two workers that were at our house were two that I didn’t actually mind much; they got a lot of work done, didn’t make a huge mess or a lot of extra noise, and they didn’t mind that Boca was out of her kennel supervising their work and sniffing inspections now and then. The girls and I decided to share our cookies with the workers.  We set a plate of four of the yummy snacks on the table and invited them to take a break and enjoy a snack.  Now, you’d think that two guys who have been working all day would jump at the chance to take a break and enjoy a sweet snack…but you know what, they never touched the cookies!  I couldn’t believe it…clearly they didn’t know what they were missing.  I’m wondering if maybe part of their training from the Home Depot included instructions to not accept any sort of tip/payment from clients (in fact, we, as the clients, were instructed not to pay them in any form), but…cookies??

 Anyway, even though our kind act was not acted upon, I still think it’s important to acknowledge the people that work hard and likely are not receiving much of the large amount of money we have paid to have this project done.  I’ll keep trying…we are still about a month away from project completion…sooner or later they’ll give in to temptation. J

 Cost: $0 (because I bought the cookies for our family…and since they didn’t eat them anyway, the girls and I enjoyed them all ourselves!)

Kind act #13: Donate to Make a Wish

Yesterday I was at Party City picking up some supplies for an upcoming bridal shower, and I heard the woman at the register ask the couple ahead of me if they wanted to donate one dollar to the “Make a Wish” foundation.  The young couple quickly brushed off the question, replied “No, thanks,” as many people often do when asked to donate to a charity upon checking out, and completed their transaction.  I quickly tried to think about what I knew about Make a Wish before it was my turn to check out, and all I could think of was that I knew they helped children who were sick.  For me, this was a good enough reason to donate $1 to their charity, even though, similar to the couple ahead of me, I usually don’t agree to this sort of request.  When I got home, I did a bit more research on Make a Wish, and after just a bit of looking around on their website, I almost wished I had donated more than just one dollar.  The home page states, “Every 38 minutes Make a Wish grants the wish of a child diagnosed with a life-threatening condition in the United States and its territories.  We believe that a wish experience can be a game-changer.”  As a non-profit organization, they dedicate 80% of all donations directly to granting the wishes of children.  As I think about my own children, I cannot imagine the anguish and heartache that the parents and families of these children have gone and will go through upon learning that their child has a terminal illness.  On the flip side, though, what amazing opportunities Make a Wish provides for these children to find something to look forward to and be excited about; a foundation dedicated to helping children and their families smile and laugh again, practicing acts of pure kindness every 38 minutes.

Cost: $1

Kind act #12: Let someone ahead of you in line

After our weekend getaway to Colorado, followed by a right-in-the-middle-of-a-kitchen-remodel crazy work week, we were in desperate need of a Super-Walmart trip, including everything but the kitchen sink (literally, since we had just picked out our new sink at Menard’s the day before :-)).  As much as I loathe these overflowing-cart shopping trips, the girls and I persevered (they did awesome, by the way!) and finally made it to the checkout lines at Walmart with a very full cart.  It was Monday morning, and we weren’t really in a huge rush (well, I guess maybe we were since it was nearing lunch time and the two toddlers that were my shopping mates were quickly losing their patience as their appetites took over their ability to control their emotions).  Since it was a Monday morning, there were only a couple of checkout lanes open, and as it usually happens, all people in the store decided to head to the checkout lanes at the same time, making the waiting lines just a bit longer.  There was a woman behind me with just a few items in her cart (but more than would allow her to be in the express line, which also had quite a few people in line) and she was visibly agitated that she was a) having to wait in line to check out her small cart load of items, and b) even more frustrated that she was behind the mom with two kids and a cart full of stuff.  Before we started to unload our loot, I asked the lady if she wanted to go ahead of us, and at first she declined, but when I told her to look at the amount in my cart versus hers, she agreed and went ahead of us in line.  It probably extended our time at Walmart by about five minutes, but the girls didn’t seem to mind since they got a couple of extra M&M’s out of the deal.  And I think the lady that we let go ahead of us in line did appreciate it quite a bit too, as she made it out of there much quicker than she would have.  She thanked us several times, smiled and waved as she left ahead of us.  And low and behold, the girls didn’t even starve on the way drive home :-)).

Cost: $0

Kind act #11: Leave the restroom cleaner than you found it

Now that I have a potty-trained toddler, it is inevitable that we will likely visit every public restroom imaginable every time we leave the house.  Thus, I am more keenly aware of how clean (or unclean) most public restrooms are (or aren’t).   Last weekend we met some of our extended family members for a quick lunch date, and of course, said toddler needed to use the restroom before leaving.  As has happened many times upon entering the bathroom, she noticed that it wasn’t necessarily clean; there was paper towel scattered around the garbage can, small sheets of toilet paper on the floors in the stalls, and water and soap on the floor near the sink.  “Wow, Mom, it’s messy in here!  We should clean it up,” were her exact words.  And you know what?  My little two-year-old was, again, correct.  Not that we were going to get down on our hands and knees and start scrubbing down the place, but after she was done going to the bathroom, it took just a couple of extra minutes to put the paper towels and toilet paper in the garbage can and wipe up the water and soap.  And was the nitty-gritty of this bathroom that much cleaner?  Probably not, but at least it appeared cleaner, and let’s be honest, a public bathroom that at least looks clean makes our stomach churn just a little bit less than one that is not.

Cost: $0

Kind act #10: Coffee (or tea) for end of the week early morning meetings

At the beginning of the year, the tech-team leader at my school and I decided it would be a good idea to bring coffee to our once-monthly tech team meetings (similar to my chocolate/cookies idea—we figured caffeinated beverages always make an early morning meeting at the end of the work week go just that much better!).  Well, on this particular Friday (today), it was my turn to supply the coffee.  The catch, though, was that I knew that our leader had given up coffee for Lent.  She is an amazingly hard worker who takes on so many additional roles at our school in addition to her full-time role as a music teacher, and I knew she was desperately missing her morning coffee during an especially busy and stressful time of the year.  Needless to say, it was an easy decision to find something on the menu at Starbucks that she could enjoy during the meeting while the rest of us sipped our caffeinated fuel.  I asked the woman at the counter at Starbucks to make the best-tasting, non-caffeinated hot beverage that wasn’t too fruity, and she suggested a vanilla rooibos tea (which I had never had, since I really don’t usually order things from Starbucks without caffeine, but I took her word for it).  Our leader did enjoy the drink, and I think we all enjoyed the meeting overall.   A well-deserved warm beverage for someone who has been an amazing teammate maybe wasn’t so much an act of kindness as just a simple thank you.

On a side note, after I left work today and headed to the gym, I had a random act of kindness happen to me.  I had, for the second time, somehow lost my check-in ID tag, and unluckily, it hadn’t been turned in to the front desk at the gym.  They usually charge $5 for a new ID, but I had left my wallet in the car, and asked the worker, Ryan, to just charge it to my account, I’d come back and pay for it later after my workout or the next time I came in.  Ryan gave me a look of consideration and called his manager over.  “Can I get you to override this charge?” he asked her.   I was wondering what was going on as the manager typed in a few things on the computer; then Ryan turned to me and said, “We’re not going to charge you for it this time, but don’t go around telling everyone that.  It should be $5, but I’ll just give it to you.  And if you find your old one, just throw it away.  Enjoy your workout!”  Now, maybe it’s because I’m involved in this kindness journey that I just happen to notice more often when kindness acts happen to me, or maybe it is good karma coming back around…either way, Ryan’s act of kindness certainly made my day, and he saved me five bucks!  Score! 🙂

Cost: $2.80 for the tea, but +$5 for not having to pay for the new ID!

Kind act #9: Bring in your neighbor’s garbage cans, especially if it’s windy.

I’m usually home from work on Thursdays, which is garbage and recycling day in our neighborhood, so most of the time I grab the recycling bins and garbage can from the end of the driveway shortly after the garbage men come and go so that we don’t end up losing our bins, especially if it’s windy. This week, though I was not working, I was taking the girls to daycare for the day so that my dad and I could paint our kitchen in preparation for new cabinet installation on the following day.  The girls and I were headed outside to leave for daycare shortly after the trucks had come and gone, and it happened to be particularly windy out on this day, so some of the garbage cans were already starting to wander in the wind.  I was sort of running behind, as my dad was on his way and we had a lot of painting to do, so I hadn’t planned on bringing in the cans before we left.  However, on this day, it was my daughter, Adalyn, who reminded me that it was the right thing, the kind thing to bring in not only our bins, but to gather up the bins and cans that were being blown around as well.  She kind of just gave me a look with her big brown puppy-dog eyes that said, “Mommy, don’t you think you should go get those things that are blowing around?”  I knew she was right, so that’s what I did.  It really didn’t take me very long, in the grand scheme of the day, and hopefully I saved those cans and bins from having to get used to new owners.

It took just a few minutes, a few extra steps, and a little nudge from an almost three year old to fulfill a random act of kindness on my ninth day.

Cost: $0